Motherhood

Being a mother was something that was never a big issue for me. I wasn't the type of person who said I was going to be a mother when I grew up. All I knew is that if I ever became a mother I wanted to have boys. In December of 2006, I went through my first ordeal with a baby. We had a miscarriage just a little over a month after we got married. I didn't even know what was happening till I went to the doctor. It hits you like a ton of brick when you lose something like that. Thats when I realized that one day I did want to be a mother more than anything in the world.

Then March of 2007, I found out I was pregnant again, this also was not planned. It was very unexpected but I was grateful for the chance at this again. But again it was not time for us to have a baby and about a week and a half later I had another miscarriage. By this time I was very depressed thinking something was wrong with me and that I brought this all on myself. Soon after my second loss, Kevin and I discussed the possibility of trying to get pregnant. It took us almost 9 months and on November 11th, 2007 (the due date for my second miscarriage) I found out I was pregnant with Shaun.

I felt scared that I would again lose another baby but I decided that if it wasn't ment to be then I would have to just wait for my time. Well, Christmas passed and I made it into my second trimester. I was so excited and we were able to call up family and friends who didn't know and tell them the good news. By this time I was so sick all day every day I was told that if I didn't gain weight soon I would have to be put on bed rest. I was constantly in the hospital getting liquids and pills to help me stop throwing up.

After many months of this I started being able to eat in my 7th month. Then the hunger came creeping up on me. So much by the time I gave birth I had gained 55 pounds. Shaun was born on June 22, 2008 and I was so happy he wasn't born on his due date of July 10th. I knew too many people with that birthday even our landlord!!!! Shaun is one of the greatest joys in my life.