Missing Mom

As the time approaches for my son to be born I am getting hit with the fact my mother won't be here to meet him and to love on him like she did my other sons.  I know that she wasn't really here and didn't understand completely but I sometimes wish she could have been here for this.  After my mom died last November I had a miscarriage right after she passed.  It was a hard time for me but we got through it.  Later a very close friend of mine, whom I call mom, told me that she knew that my mother was up there preparing my next child to come into my family.  That has been a comfort for me every time I start to miss her. 

My mom couldn't have children so my parents adopted my sister and me.  I never would have traded her for the world even if I had no one to turn to, to ask questions about pregnancy (my hubby is adopted too).  She helped me so much with my two older boys when I had to work.  As she went down hill I started to take care of her and it was a huge role reversal but I loved it. 

One day I will be able to talk to her again and tell her I love her and missed her all the time.  With all the pictures and memories my boys made with her, I hope my older sons will tell their younger brother about her and what she was like when he is older.  My dad has really stepped up to help out and I know he misses her too.  We have always been a close family and I know she is happy, watching us live our lives.