5 Boys oh my....

November 3rd, 2017 another little boy joined my basketball team.  He is loved by his brothers and father very much. 

New Year...New challenges...

Everything from 2016 to now has been a huge learning experience for me.  I got divorced in Sept of 2016 and made a huge move to Florida.  Things didn't go as planned and I moved back to Utah in a new relationship.  March of 2017, I found out I was pregnant with my boyfriend.  I had another little boy November 2017, my longest pregnancy... delivering at almost 41 weeks.  We named him Mason Dennis and his brothers just love him.  I never thought I would be at the place I am now in my life but I am making the most of the situation I am in.  Being a single mom with 5 boys has shown me that I can do this and I won't settle for anything less than what my family and I deserve.

The worst blogger ever. ..

I can't believe how longs it has been since I was on here. The last two years have just flown by and along with it my boys have just gotten bigger. Shaun is 7 and in second grade, he loves to read ad watch YouTube Cullen is 5 and in all day kindergarten, he is till my strong but silent boy who loves a good laugh. Ryan is 4! He is in preschool and has a crush on one of my besties daughter, he is loud and loves to rough house. Now the big one for me is my baby Declan.... He is 2 1/2 and a total mommy's boy. He is not a big talker but he is a ton of fun to watch when he plays with his big brothers.


Kevin and I just celebrated our 9th anniversary, we have had a lot of struggles the last year but we have come out on top and our marriage is amazing.  I work full time now and I love what I do, never thought I would be a shift manager for a gas station but I love the people. I have made a lot of changes to my life the last year and I have never been happier even though I work way too much. The team work aspect is big in my marriage and it's has shown us both how we can balance everything if we just communicate.

Getting Closer

It is getting close to the one year anniversary of my mom's death and it is getting harder for me the closer it gets. I posted this pic on facebook with this story.

 

One day I had a swim meet and my mom wasn't able to come. So she sent a note with one of her co-workers who would be there. It said "Christina, Even though I am not there. I hope you know I am thinking of you and wishing you the very best luck. Love you always. Just look up and you will see me yelling for you always. Love mom" I miss her so much but I know she is cheering me on in a better place.

 

 

It is the one memory that I will never forget from when I was with my mom, when she was whole as a person.  I try to remember who she was before the Alzheimer's  took over her body.  I saved this note she wrote me in a journal I was writing in high school.  I am so happy it touched me and that I kept it. She was an amazing mom and she did so much for my sister and me.  I feel like near the end I took for granted how close we use to be when I was a teen but all I can do now is not regret anything and try to be as great of a mom as she was.

 

Blessed...

I am so lucky to be my boy's mom.  I always wanted boys and now I have been given the honor of raising these strapping young men, who will go out into the world and make a difference.  I don't know what I would do without them besides get a little sleep but if that is the price to pay I would do it all over again.  I am so amazed at the little achievements and miles stones they reach on a daily basis.  Only time will tell where things will go from here but at least I have my little family to give me true happiness.

Finally HOME!!!

 

Declan is finally home and has been here for a week.  Its is a blessing to finally have my baby here with his family.  All the boys were so excited to have him home.

 

First car ride

 

Shaun holding his brother for the first time

 

Grandpa was here to see it all

 

Ryan wondering if he was a doll or not

 

Cullen was very protective

Endless waiting...

Declan is still in the hospital.  It has been two weeks and he has about a week left.  He got super sick in the hospital so he had to have tons of procedures and tests done on him.  Now he is almost done with a cycle of meds and then he will "hopefully" be home.  It is so hard only getting to see my baby and hold him once a day for about two to three hours.  Worst part is I just found out I have the same infection my little Declan got so I am on meds too now.  It is so stressful having a kindergartener, new born in the hospital, and two toddlers driving me up a wall at home.  I have so many places I want to be at once but it will just have to be a balancing act till he gets home. 

Declan went from eating normal but not gaining weight to completely sick and barely eating anything at all.  I am so glad we caught it when we did.  I hate to think of the alternative.  My children mean the world to me and I was living in a nightmare for a few days not knowing what was going to happen.  Luckily we got Declan a blessing and I just got one.  Now we just wait and see what will happen.  He has done a 180 though!!!

Progress...

Declan is almost a week old and still in the nursery at the hospital.  I have been through this before with Ryan but it doesn't make it any easier leaving my son up there.  I have had an easier time this time because I know he won't be in there as long as Ryan did.  He has done so great and every time they try to test him or challenge him he has surpassed all our expectations.  He has had so many visitors and I know he has been loving the attention.  He smiles constantly and loves to hear my dad or Kevin talk to him.

 

Auntie Ree Ree

 

Auntie Becca

 

He has a lot of aunts and he will have a lot of love!!!!

Grandpa Wilkey

My dad came home early from his trip and got to meet Declan for the first time yesterday.  It was so cute seeing my dad interact with him.  Declan kept farting on grandpa and smiling at him whenever he talked about my mom.  It was very precious to watch.

Declan looking around...

Declan opening up his eyes.  I got this video to show his big brothers at home what he is up to at the hospital.  I just miss this little one all the time.  Can't wait till he is home.

Declan Bryan...

Early in the morning on August 28th, I went into the University of Utah with extreme labor pains.  I had been in the hospital a few times prior with no real progress in my labor but all the pain you can imagine.  After getting to the hospital at 4 am getting admitted pretty fast cause of how much pain I was in and had dilated to 6CM, I began trying to get a hold of all the people who needed to be there.  We finally had him at 2:53 pm he weighed 6 pounds 9 ounces, 19 inches long and he was perfect for being only 34 weeks and 3 days gestational.  He has no problems with breathing cause of the steroid shots I had done the previous Thursday and Friday.  He acts like a full term baby and my OBs think he will be able to go home with me tomorrow. 

Out of all my birthing experiences this one was one of the most special.  I went completely on my own I had no help, besides my water being broken.  Plus the best ever was my best friend was able to be there and experience Declan's birth.  I wanted Erin to be here for his birth since she has been such a huge help to me for Ryan and Declan's pregnancies.  She wasn't able to have a baby outside of adoption, so I wanted to share this with her.  She left 10 mins before Ryan was born almost two years ago and so I made sure she was here for this little guy.   She got to cut the cord and that was the greatest gift I think Kevin could have given her. 

There were a few moments of tension cause he was early but once we all got on the same page as my doctors we were able to enjoy the time together.  We were laughing and enjoying the company of all the nurses and students that helped out with Declan.  I am so grateful for all my boys and I can't wait for the older 3 to meet him.  It was a stressful time trying to find a place for my boys to stay since my hubby wants to work till Declan is for sure coming home.  It is all working out and I can't wait for my dad to come home from his vacation and meet his last grand baby. 

I love being a mom and can't imagine a better calling in my life.  The only thing that can even come second to being a mom is being married to my boys father and being able to spend the rest of eternity with him.  He is such a great person and my boys are just as lucky as I am to have him.  Now that our family is complete we can grow and love each other.

Missing Mom

As the time approaches for my son to be born I am getting hit with the fact my mother won't be here to meet him and to love on him like she did my other sons.  I know that she wasn't really here and didn't understand completely but I sometimes wish she could have been here for this.  After my mom died last November I had a miscarriage right after she passed.  It was a hard time for me but we got through it.  Later a very close friend of mine, whom I call mom, told me that she knew that my mother was up there preparing my next child to come into my family.  That has been a comfort for me every time I start to miss her. 

My mom couldn't have children so my parents adopted my sister and me.  I never would have traded her for the world even if I had no one to turn to, to ask questions about pregnancy (my hubby is adopted too).  She helped me so much with my two older boys when I had to work.  As she went down hill I started to take care of her and it was a huge role reversal but I loved it. 

One day I will be able to talk to her again and tell her I love her and missed her all the time.  With all the pictures and memories my boys made with her, I hope my older sons will tell their younger brother about her and what she was like when he is older.  My dad has really stepped up to help out and I know he misses her too.  We have always been a close family and I know she is happy, watching us live our lives.

The Pains of Motherhood...

So as most know I have had a preterm baby and Ryan was in the NICU for almost a month due to some crazy complications.  Well, I was in the OBES last night for contractions which is way too early at 33 weeks and found out that I am almost to 4 cm and 40% effaced.  It scares me cause this is what I was at when my water broke with Ryan and he was born at 33 weeks and 6 days.  The test came back positive that I will have this little one in the next two weeks.  So basically any time.  I am terrified even though I know he will be in good hands.  I kept telling my husband that I don't want to go through the NICU experience again but it looks like its a possibility. 

The only bonus to having had a son in the NICU before is that I know the nurses and doctors already and that since he will be born at the U of U that my hubby will be able to visit a lot.  Kevin has worked at the hospital for 5 years and last time he would go up and see Ryan every chance he got.  I, on the other hand, will have to only go up between Kevin's work schedule since my mother has passed away.  She watch my boys for me last time.  I am hoping and praying the test was a faults positive even though my contractions are coming back.  Only time will tell at this point.

Its a BOY ....

Had tons of fun on Saturday.... got to have my reveal party and it looks like another little man to add to my boys.  I was a little disappointed at first but I didn't break down or cry.  I know I will love him and now I am in shopping mode since I let all my friends use my boy clothes.   The shower was so funny.  We had a blast playing games and cutting the cake that told us the gender.

 

My friend Shellie made this cute little baby fruit monster!

 

My momma made this awesome cake that it so me!

 

Rob and mom changing diapers

 

Rob killed his with baby powder

 

Brian and Kevin doing it too

 

We all wore lips or mustaches for what we thought the baby was.

 

 

Opening presents

 

Ryan wanted mommy

 

Just cut open cake! Its a boy!!!

 

I asked where the real cake was

 

I should have picked this in the first place

 

Everyone writing funny saying on the diapers for late night changes.

 Kevin about collapsed when he found out it was another boy, he really wanted a boy again. Now the never ending battle to pick a name has begun and we are not sure what to name him. We have thought about Reagan, Devon, and Eden but just nothing is jumping out at us.  We will have to meet him before we name him I guess.

My Boys...

It has been hard being told not to do a lot with how high risk I am being pregnant.  I am not usually one who sit around and does nothing.  I know its been hard on my boys and I hope after their little brother or sister is here we can do the stuff we love to do more. 

I try and get them out whenever I can but it is hard with two toddlers and 5 year old.  Shaun has been helping me so much in the mornings.  I can't sleep most nights cause of how much pain I am in but he will keep Cullen and Ryan entertained as long as I need him to.  With him starting school at the end of this month its gonna be hard for me but he has come a long way this last year.